One step at a time
by UndressTheseBeautifulLies
Summary: Watch Cat and Jade grow up, they're just taking life one step at a time   young Cade friendship!
1. Chapter 1

She's only six years old, just a little girl, but she knows that this picture is usually reversed. She's holding her mother's hair back and leaning away from the toilet, but the disgusting smell of vomit still makes its way to her nose. She's standing as far away as she possibly can and almost being sick herself and her face is still tearstained.

_Young girl, don't cry. I'll be right here when your world starts to fall. Your tears will dry you'll soon be free to fly. _

"I'm so sorry, darling," Cat's mother chokes out. She jumps forward and leans back into the toilet again. Cat doesn't know what to say. She knows that whatever she says her mother won't remember anyway, so what's the point? Her mother smells horrible – not just the vomit, everything about her Cat despises at the moment. When she's finally finished, her mother collapses on the floor beside Cat. Cat sighs. She's used to this, but it doesn't make it any better. Cat runs into the next room, fetching a blanket and some pillows. She puts them under her mother's head and then leaves, closing the door behind her.

Next she goes to the kitchen. Cat knows that her mother will want something to eat afterwards, and she also knows that all she'll do is slur out an incoherent sentence and then want whatever she's supposedly said. Cat doesn't really know how to make much; she's had to do this many many other times but really doesn't know how to turn the oven on, or even heat something in the microwave.

She makes toast and puts jam on it. Then she pours a glass of orange juice and puts them both on a tray, ready to give to her mother.

She goes back into the bathroom, anticipating the worst. Timidly, she peeks round the door frame, forcing herself to open her eyes, "Mommy?" She asks, uncertain.

"Go away, _sweetheart_," It's a nice enough sentence but there's venom in her voice and it makes Cat flinch away from her. She puts the tray down carefully and leaves, though she desperately wants a hug or something of that kind.

Cat's mom has always been an unreliable, nasty, hateful person. Alternatively, she could be happy, free, lovely and caring. It all depended on her mood. She never knew what would happen. Through all of that, though, she still loved her mother to pieces and hated it when she pushed her away. Whenever she could, she'd hug and kiss and cling onto her mother like a baby monkey. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Caterina Valentine loved her mother dearly. Just no one knew quite how much, and no one knew quite how little Mrs Valentine cherished her only little girl.  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<p>

In an entirely different place - far away from Cat or her mother, a little Jade West sat in a small house, looking up at the various posters on her bedroom wall. She could hear her mother in the next room. She was being sick – again. As well as "a splitting headache" as she'd put it.

"She made her bed," Jade muttered bitterly, thinking of the disgusting stench of alcohol last night. "She can lie in it." Usually that's what she thinks about her less than impressive mother – especially after last night. She touches the bruise on her left cheek. Her jaw still aches but she won't cry, what's the point? No one will come for her. Once or twice, when it first started happening (not that Jade can remember a time when it didn't) she helped her mother, gave her some water and food. She wasn't at all grateful, and smashed the glasses afterwards. Whether it was on purpose or not is another matter but to Jade, it didn't matter whatsoever. Whatever damage her mother had caused was done now, and there was no going back. Mostly, Jade tried to avoid her mother; even more her father. Not that he came round much anymore, not since he got a new wife that is. So Jade was left staring at her posters all summer long. She didn't really have anything else to do besides that and taking care of her mother – she'd rather watch paint dry. Which was probably about the same affect looking at her posters had, thinking about it. That's not entirely true; she'd look up at them and want to be just as famous as the faces up there.

"One day, my name will be in lights; one day I'll prove my mom wrong."

_When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream of a place where nothing's harder than it seems. _

Jade was a smart kid. She knew how to handle herself, how to just use what she needed because she knew otherwise, she'd have to wait. Her mother didn't go shopping much. Every now and again she'd call her dad and ask for money, say she wants a new toy, or she wants new games. He can't say no to his only daughter; his little girl! Too bad he's never there. She doesn't want his sympathy, she just needs money. When she gets some, she drags herself and her mother to the store – she's tried going in on her own but someone always takes her home. She protested heartily, she kicked and screamed. No one listened, they never do.

Jade listened carefully, tilting her head and creasing her eyebrows. She could hear her mother, but she wasn't vomiting anymore, but crashing about. That worried her; not for safety reasons, no, but for her things. She didn't want her mom ruining food or plates when she was the one who had to make up excuses to get them. She made her way down to the bathroom across the hall, where she saw her mom with a broken bottle of vodka at her feet. Jade sniffed, looking away.

"What a mess," She said, not entirely talking about the bottle.

There was not a doubt in anyone's mind how Jade despised her mother. Just no one knew how much.

**A/N:**

**This is just a very short, three/four/five chapters maybe. :]**


	2. Chapter 2

Jade sat up in her bed, blinking quickly and trying to adjust her eyes to the dim light. It wasn't at all morning. It must've been two, maybe three in the morning and Jade could hear her mother thrashing about somewhere in the noisy house. She shakes her head and gets up, the cold brushing against her almost bare legs. The stairs creak under her weight as she pads into the living room, calling out for her mother uselessly.

"Jade, my d_aaa_rling," She slurs from the living room floor. Jade scoffs at her, shaking her head once again.

"You're a total mess." She says to her, taking the glass out of her hand. "You shouldn't even be trusted to take care of yourself." Jade looks her up and down, swearing not to turn out like her ill-mannered, alcoholic mother. She puts the glass in the sink, and turns to go back to her room and sleep. A shabby, dirty man grips her arm as she tries to. Jade's eyes bug as she tries to escape his grip.

"Mommy, help," She cries. _"Mommy!" _ The man grips her harder and laughs.

"Don't be frightened!" He chuckles. "I wouldn't possibly _hurt _you." She cries and cries but it's no use.

"Mommy, I don't like it," She shouts again. He hits her and she passes out, falling to the ground with a thud.

* * *

><p>It's morning and Cat doesn't know where she is. She wakes up bleary eyed and tired, and she's all alone. She's in a huge black room, with not much light and once her eyes start to get used to the light, she makes out just a window. She whimpers, but no one can hear her. She calls out, but no one can hear her. She <em>cries –<em> but no one can hear her.

_She wants to go home but nobody's home , that's where she lies broken inside, with no place to go no place to go to dry her eyes. Broken inside!_

Hot tears sting her eyes and drip down her pale face. Her curly hair gets in her face and she wants to tie it back – show mommy what a good girl she is – but she can't.

"Where are you, mommy." She whispers into the darkness, pleading more than asking.

She walks around, finding a switch. It's a light. She flips it and then slumps by the window. It's the crack of dawn – literally – but she finds that she's not at all tired, or weary. She's droopy with sleep, or the lack of, and wary. She sighs. Cat seems to sigh a lot lately. Her un-brushed hair is flat and dull and her eyebrows knit together when she sees anything anymore. Her bottom lip is in a permanent pout and her fingernails are stubs thanks to countless worries.

* * *

><p>Jade remembers when her mother wasn't quite so bad. She was still terrible, but she went out to do whatever she did when she brought all of these people home nowadays. She used to enjoy the blissful hours of peace when she went out, and so she spent hours and hours just sitting, taking in the quiet and cutting up a magazine with her favourite scissors. Sometimes she'll just hold her scissors now, in fear of them getting taken or getting hit for making a mess on the not-so-white-but-had-to-stay-"white"-carpet.<p>

Jade's finally made sense of everything – before she woke up, I mean. She's sore and grey bruises are forming _all _over her. The house is still packed, party in full swing, with her mother laughing in the middle of the room, forgetting about her "darling Jade" for now. She hates even being in her own home now – she doesn't feel safe. Even less so than before, now. She knows that now her mother has gotten a taste for a party, it'll never stop. She'll never be alone, never be just her and her scissors.

_This used to be funhouse, but now it's full of evil clowns. It's time to start the countdown – I'm gonna burn it down. _

She scrambles to her feet and runs out of the door. Tears sting her eyes and the slight breeze feels like the sort you get with torrential rain. It doesn't matter. She just wants to run. It's not quite that simple though. She's not naïve. She's just a child – she won't survive on her own. Tears are pouring now, and she's not even out of her neighbourhood. She leans on a wall. She's not even got any shoes on. That's not what worries her most though. She's forgotten the thing that she loves the most. The thing that she keeps close to her at all times. Her scissors. She cries and cries and cries, because if you think about it, she's just a _baby. _She can walk and talk and she can eat and drink, she can read and spell out words like m-a-t and c-a-t and she can write a wobbly Jade on her paper, but that's about it as far as her talents go. She sings herself to sleep at night, but she figures so does everyone else. Once she read a story aloud, making the troll sound grumpy and the good witch happy – but that didn't end well.

It's only been five minutes at most, but she goes home, sighing. She braces herself for hits and punches being thrown at her, but all she gets is a smothering from her mother. She runs over to Jade, cradling her close.

"Jade, where have you been?" She chokes out, exasperated. Jade's face wears a wary expression, her lips slightly parted as she looks on, not even speaking.

"Well?" Jade's mother repeats, fancying herself a miracle worker with children now, apparently.

"Get off of me," Jade says, slightly confused. Jade's mother doesn't take the hint. "_Get off of me!" _She shrieks, punching and kicking and biting and clawing like a wild animal.

"_Jadelyn Rose West!" _She shouts. "I am your mother and you'll hug me!" Jade is taken aback. Never mind that Rose isn't even her middle name, surely her mother has gone crazy, demented! Veins on her forehead pop slightly and her lips are pressed into a thin pencilled line – though the pencilled bit isn't on her lip much. She struggles to get free, but her mother gives up.

"Ha, you're an absolute wreck! Seven years old and-"

"I'm five," She says, holding her head high.

"Can you even look me in the eye?" Jade's mother says, taking Jade's face in her hands. It's not gentle. It leaves hand and nail marks in her face. Jade closes her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek. Her mother pushes her face to one side roughly. "I didn't think so!" She cackles, pinching Jade's cheek. "_Five_ years old, and you're already a messed up little kid."

Jade breathes out a shaky breath, her eyes closing once again. She swallows, though there's a lump in her throat, her breath catching. She won't admit it, but her face stings and her heart feels like its breaking. She should be used to it by now – it's normal for her mother to hurt her and make her feel small. She can't just get over it though. She always tries to not cry in front of her mother. It was drilled into her from such a young age that crying was weakness, that she just hated it.

* * *

><p>She'd just fallen asleep after crying buckets of tears, and the door to the bleak room cracked open. She sighs in relief.<p>

"Take me home, mommy….please." She's been there for ages now, it's way past morning.

Her mother opens her dry mouth, trying to make a coherent sentence form. She nods.

"Of course, darling…I just have to get something, you wait here," Cat jumps up.

"No, mommy, please, don't leave me again, please mommy, please…" The door slams as she tries to plead harder. She blinks, a little confused. Her mother looked disorientated, and confused; maybe even a little scared. Cat loved her mother dearly. There was no denying it. So she waited and she waited. She waited and waited and waited. It was getting dark and quiet. Cat wanted to still believe her mother was coming, so she did. She believes everything, sweet little Cat. Her hope is fading. She closes her eyes and rubs her head. She draws her knees up and rests her head on them. She watches the door as it all becomes a blur, the picture running down her cheeks with her tears. She wipes them away without really caring. Tears don't really mean much, do they.

Soon after, her mother returns. Cat jumps up once again, clinging to her mother.

"I missed you, innocent." Her mother says to her, using the gentle nickname she was almost born with.

"I missed you too, mommy." Cat sighs, burrowing her nose further into her mother's cardigan. She's sick and tired of being let down, she's sick and tired of the dark and she's sick and tired of lies. She just wants to go home. Home is where she feels safe. She walks with her mother to a car, where they drive home. Cat jumps out and goes into her home – her haven. She walks in and her mother follows like a lost puppy. Once they're inside, it all starts again. Cat sits at the dining table, watching her mother warily.

She picks up a bottle of vodka and Cat sighs. She even knows what they are now – she's only four. She can smell it as she hears her opening and pouring it into one of her funny glasses. They're tiny little glasses, but she usually drinks about twenty of them so Cat thinks she should use a normal glass. She comes into the lounge and sits down on the couch. She turns to look at her angel faced daughter, but for the first time, Cat turns around, away from her, disgusted. She shakes her head and laughs at her mother, a dry laugh with no whatsoever humour.

_Don't turn around; I'm sick and I'm tired of your face. Don't make this worse you've already gone and got me mad. _

Cat walks out, retreating to her room. Daintily, she takes the family portrait off of the wall. She stares at it intently. There on the photo, clear as day, is her happy family in all its glory. Or, former glory. There stands daddy, in his favourite shirt, holding his favourite (or only) little girl. On the other side stands mommy, holding Cat's hand with a smile present on her face that stretches right up to the special sparkle in her brown eyes. In daddy's arms is Cat, grinning a little too wide. Her eyes are looking at daddy and mommy is looking up at her like she's the best thing that's ever been placed on earth. Daddy is looking at mommy and Cat, his two girls. He's looking at them with such love in his eyes. Suddenly daddy's face is distorted, and his two girls become blurs. A teardrop falls on them, spilling down the page, trying to pull them apart. She looks and realizes that even if you tried, you wouldn't be able to pull them apart without tearing another person.

She moves along the wall, running her finger along the thick layer of dust. Another photo comes up, a sweet photo of a two year old Cat laughing at her toy horse. Her curly hair looks fresh and washed, shiny and pinned in place. Her mother is holding her from behind, her hands clasped at her hips. There are other photos on there, of after…after _that_ happened. She can see the look in her mother's eyes have changed. She won't even look at Cat in the photos. She didn't put them up. Someone who used to come around did. Cat didn't know who she was. She had to call her miss, or lady, or maybe even madam. She did tell her a name, but Cat could never place her finger on it. It doesn't look right in the after photos. It looks like when a lady and a little girl are paired in an advert for television. You can pretend all you like – but that sparkle in their eyes is gone. Cat's wobbly smile and her mother's great grin, spreading across her face in a false façade, don't look right. Cat hates the smiles in that photo. It looks like they're almost teasing her from above her head.

_Pictures framing up the past, your taunting smirk behind the glass. This museum, full of ash, once a tickle now a rash. _

Cat feels like she'll never sleep in her own home again. There are too many memories and too much pain. She wants someone to tell her why; why her family has been destroyed and why she'll never see her daddy again. She wants someone to put her to bed and tell her that everything's fine. For now, though, she'll just have to settle with memories she once had to get her to sleep at night, and the fact that every new day brings one more chance to escape to get her up in the morning.

**A/N:**

**So, this is the new chapter. Not too bad, I hope! :]**

**~Enjoy and review . **


	3. Chapter 3

Cat wakes up in the morning and finds she feels weak and sick. She shakes herself off and gets up, wobbling to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She realizes that she really is sick, and that she needs to stay in bed to get better. She knows better than to tell her mother, but she does it anyway. Warily, she knocks on the black door to her mother's room and steps in, coughing as she does.

Her mother wakes up, bleary eyed and hung over but when she sees her "little angel" she forces herself up.

"Caterina, are you okay?" She asks, oblivious to the fact that no one calls her Caterina anymore – she's _Cat_ now.

"No, mommy, I have a sore head," she says softly, not wanting to hurt her mother's head any more than it was already. Cat's mom beckons her over, and rubs her back comfortingly.

"It's okay, baby," she says. Cat sees her mother again then, not some drunken silly woman in her house. Back when daddy was home, that mommy. "You'll be fine, I promise." Cat nods, nuzzling into the pillow of her mom's bed. Cat sighs contentedly, and tries to sleep a bit more. All she ever wanted was for her mother to wrap her arms round her, to love her. To know that she misses daddy too. She feels like things are finally getting back on track.

_You're untouchable, like a distant diamond sky. I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why. I'm caught up in you; I'm caught up in you. _

Jade wakes up and she's in someone's arms. She rubs her sore eyes and blinks slowly, taking everything in. She scratches her head and tries to see the face of the person who is carrying her. She soon realizes it's someone she doesn't really know, and that they're also carrying a case with them. She strains her neck to see behind her and sees her mother, leaning on the doorway and screaming. She tries to struggle but it's no good.

"Mommy, wait!" She screams, reaching out. Her mother is nothing to her, usually, but the thought of being taken away from the only thing she's got – beside her dad – horrifies her. She sees her mother running up the garden path, reaching out for her lost little girl. She finally catches up as the stern person pushes her away. Jade struggles and the person drops her, much to her dismay. Jade scrambles to her feet, running to her mother.

"Mommy, mommy, don't let them take me away, mommy I love you."

"I love you too, little star. I'm sorry, but go on, go with the nice lady." Jade notices that even though she sounds serious, there's no sincerity in her voice.

"Mommy…" Jade trails, getting picked up again. Jade's mother kisses her lightly on the cheek and then ruffles her hair, whispering in her ear,

"Don't worry, my star, I'll get you back. Be a good little girl." Jade has never seen her mother like this. It scares her, seeing her own mother wanting her for once. It makes the whole thing a little more bittersweet. Jade sits in the back of the old SUV, waiting to hear what the people in the front are saying.

"Excuse me, man with the mustache," Jade says. "Where am I going? Are you taking me to daddy?"

The officers exchange looks, confused. "No, sweetheart," says the female. "We're taking you to a lovely new home. It even has kittens," Jade bites her lip, but doesn't tell the nice lady that, in fact, she's allergic to kittens. Jade stares out of the window; noticing only now that it's dark still, and that the time couldn't be decent. She finds herself wondering why, about lots of things. She finds her voice soon enough.

"Why am I not going to daddy? I want my daddy."

"You can see daddy sometime next week, darling," they reply. Jade sighs. "That's a lot of sighing for a little girl," one of the officers remarks.

"That's a lot of comments from someone who tells me so little," Jade retorts, quietly. She doesn't really blame them, she's just incredibly angry with everyone and wants closure. She soon falls asleep on the comfy chairs, dreaming all her worries once again. She feels once of the officers put a blanket on her and stoke her hair back. She feels content, with only a small pit of worry in her stomach.

_Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming, so I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night light. _

Cat wakes up and it's light again. Her voice is gone and her head feels like it's going to explode. She holds it and walks slowly, wanting a drink. She soon finds out that her mother isn't there. She can't sleep anymore and she doesn't know why. The room seems to be spinning.

Cat decides she should go outside for a bit, and she slips on some sandals hastily and shoves a sunhat on. It was awfully sunny. Cat dizzily walks out, trying to find someone to help her. She's becoming desperate. Suddenly she feels so woozy, like she can't stand. So she gives up and gives in, falling to the hard, hot concrete with a noisy thud, her little pigtails flying everywhere. Her eyes flicker and she tries to struggle but she can't move; she's stuck. She stops struggling. Things start to turn black, spotted at first but then completely invisible. In the back of her mind, it occurs to her that she wouldn't really mind too much if she didn't wake up. She thinks it's not such a terrible though. She keeps thinking like that until the heat from the sun, beating down on her, finally wins the battle. Cat lies her head down in defeat, and closes her brown eyes.

She sighs sadly, and lets her eyes roll inside her head. She can do no more but wonder if her short life is over. And hope to god that if it isn't, that it's better than it was.

**A/N:**

**Sorry for my bad updating. I've had nothing to do as I can't (or won't) do much cause I have a sore throat but all is good, I have medicine for it as I went to the doctor. :p Thanks for reading! **


	4. Chapter 4

Jade wakes up soon, but this time she's in a bed, clean and fresh with different clothes on. It makes her upset that someone changed her out of her own clothes and put these itchy clothes on her. It felt like she was in a book, and just getting into character – that none of this was real. She gets up and opens the bedroom door, letting a crack of light shine through. She looks around at her surroundings carefully, taking in the baby pink wallpaper and teddy bears in the corner, the crib that sits on the opposite side of the room. She moves cautiously around the room until she reaches the crib, then she peers in, wondering if there's a baby in there.

Jade climbs on one of the bars and soon she can look inside. The baby looks up at her with its big blue eyes and Jade calms. The baby's fine and she would be too. Right? Suddenly the baby stretches out and reaches for Jade's hand. Jade whips her hand back and the baby starts to scream. Jade looks round in horror, shushing the baby as best she can. She starts to panic and tries to climb down but her foot is stuck and she's trapped. The door starts to open more. Jade slowly turns to face it, hiding behind her hair, seeing the employee that walks in. She doesn't like the way he looks at her.

She doesn't like to remember the rest.

The next morning she's woken by the sound of the baby's cries, only this time she cowers under her covers until she really has to get up. She surveys herself in the mirror, looking at all her blue bruises forming, running her finger along the fresh cuts on her arms, gently prodding the welts left on her legs and dabbing her face tenderly with a tissue. She jumped out of her skin when she heard the door opening, darting to get back into bed. The lady who comes in laughs at her softly.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You won't get in trouble for getting up early. Up you get, time for breakfast." Jade nodded and started to get dressed, just because that's what she did at home. "Don't bother with that, my dear, just bring yourself."

At breakfast, she got acquainted with everybody. There was a girl about a year older, with brown hair and freckles scattered over her fair skin, and she had the prettiest brown eyes, glittering and sparkly. She said her name was Cyndi. Cyndi made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with Jade.

The baby she shared a room with was named Ace, and he's only six months old. Jade decides that she'll be careful with Ace, and keep a watchful eye over his crib. He's only little, after all. There's another girl, but she's quite a lot littler than Jade. Only two or three, but she certainly made a lot of noise. Jade tried to console her when she couldn't find her mommy, but she just kept _screaming. _It gave Jade a headache and so she just left her, screaming and crying.

Jade sat in the corner on her own for a while, taking everything in. She drew her knees up to her chest, trying to block everyone out. It worked for a while and then she was told to get up and do something, or to go to her room. She couldn't bear to go back there until she absolutely had to, and the least she could do was colour, so colouring she did. She sat there, not paying much attention to anything. That was until she heard the door. Jade put her head down and drew, scribbling anything. She hoped so badly that it wasn't the horrible man again. She wanted to stay well away from him, whenever she possibly could. She drew in a sharp breath and looked up slowly, bracing herself for the worst. She sighed in relief as she saw a boy walk through the door. She looked at him carefully, and then finally decided that he must be one of the kids here too. Behind him was a girl. She stopped and stared as they walked in.

She found out he was named Toby. He had short brown hair and green eyes, and he was very tall. Six foot at least. He was friends with a girl, and she was draped all over him like, well, drapes. She had long fair hair and she had little rose buds in it, making her look very pretty. On her hip she was holding a baby, though Jade wasn't too sure if she was the mother. She was kissing the baby's face tenderly and stroking her soft pink cheeks, and when she saw Jade glancing over, she beckoned her to come and have a look.

Jade hopped off of her stool at the table and walked over cautiously, peeking into the baby's blanket. "What is her name?" Jade asked, carefully taking her the baby's sweet rosebud lips and button nose, and blonde wisps of hair curled under her tiny pink hat.

"Valentina," the girl says with such pride that Jade thinks she must be her mother, "it means strong."

"It's very…pretty," Jade decides, looking at the baby.

"Sit on my lap and you can hold her, if you like," Jade nods, and sits carefully on the girl's lap, gingerly holding her hands out. The girl places Valentina under Jade's arms, with her arms bound round both her and the baby. "My name's Madeline, by the way."

"Jade," Jade replies politely, not taking her eyes off of Valentina. "Madeline," Jade lisps "how long am I going to be here?" Madeline sighs.

"I don't know, sweetheart. I wish I knew, really." Madeline snuggled Jade close, bringing the three girls closer. They both stayed in each other's company for quite a while, content as they ever could be in this place full of grey and misery.


	5. Chapter 5

Cat's eyes suddenly open, the brisk coldness prickling at her arms, already littered with goosebumps. She scrunches her eyes shut again, holding her sore, heavy head. She sat there for a while, just breathing slowly and taking in the scenes around her. She blinks away the hot tears and claws at the flushed skin on her neck, leaving little scratches. Slowly, Cat tries to stand and steady herself. She still feels woozy, but at least the headache has lessened. Looking around, Cat realizes she doesn't actually know where she is. _Yes_ she does. She's outside Mrs Sera's house, the next neighbourhood. That's a long way from home for Cat. She walks over to the door in a daze and knocks.

"Yes? Look, if you're here about-" Mrs Sera stops as she sees Cat. "Oh, my! Come on, dearie, come inside," Cat looks up at her, her eyes showing no emotion, and steps inside.

* * *

><p>"I don't know," Cat sighs for the seventh time, shaking her head. "Where's mommy?"<p>

"I don't know, dear, I'll find out. You be a good little girl and stay there, okay?" Cat nods, watching Mrs Sera walk out of the room, eyeing Cat as she left. Cat plays with her fingers nervously, twitching every now and again. She sniffles, but can't seem to be bothered enough to concentrate on crying. Her little panda eyes have seen too much pain. She sips the glass of water slowly, breathing deeply with every gulp.

Mrs Sera comes back in soon, a gloomy look on her face. "Well, darling, the good news is that tonight is going to be very….interesting for you." Cat raises her head, almost nodding.

"I think I understand," Cat says softly. She lets her hair fall in her face once more. "Is daddy with mommy now?" Cat asks slowly. Mrs Sera's mouth forms and O shape and she hurries round the table, avoiding the question. "Well?" Cat repeats.

"Oh dear, dear," she says, "don't expect the worst, sweetheart." Cat bites her lip.

"Why would that be the worst?" Cat sits up straighter. "She loves him." Mrs Sera raises her eyebrows.

"Well, yes." She stops, pausing to think. "You don't think about joining your daddy now, do you?" Cat shakes her head, her floppy curls bouncing on her shoulders.

"No, not really – I don't know how to anyway. Do you?" Cat looks hopeful. Mrs Sera shakes her head quickly.

"No, Cat, I don't."

* * *

><p>Jade cocks her head to the side, looking up at Madeline. "Yes, but <em>why?<em>" Jade asks for the millionth time. Madeline raises her eyebrows and grins. She shoves the last piece of toast into her mouth and gets up. She grabs Jade's arm and hops over to her bedroom, where she dresses Valentina.

"How long have you been here?" Jade asks, passing the little red baby gro. Madeline smiles sadly.

"Not too long," she answers, picking up Valentina. Jade narrows her bright blue eyes.

"How long is not long?"

"Too long," she says, not missing a beat. "Now come on, it's time for your breakfast." They walk hand in hand to the kitchen where the food is being given out. Jade loops her hand out of Madeline's and picks up a plate, putting bacon and eggs on it.

"Why don't you eat at the same time as me?" Jade asks. Madeline smiles down at her.

"What's with all the questions?" She says. "It's because I can eat without spilling things down me. You're not dressed yet so it's okay."

"I can so eat without getting anything down me," Jade protests. Madeline laughs.

"Sure, little one. Now eat, it's almost school, so scoot."

After breakfast, Jade waved Madeline goodbye and got on the bus. It would be her first day at the new school and she was nervous to say the least! Soon, the short ten minute journey was over and she stepped off of the bus. She hadn't even figured out where the entrance was before someone grabbed onto the arm of her dark purple jacket.

"Hey, watch it!" Jade yelled, turning to face the person brave enough to touch her. It turned out to be an elderly lady, peering down at Jade softly.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart; I didn't mean to frighten you!" The old lady chuckled. She took Jade's hand. Jade stared at her weirdly but didn't take her hand back. She was led to a colourful classroom where she was sat next to a skinny little girl named Becky. She seemed to think she was the best thing that ever happened, and Jade screwed up nose looking at her bright pink _UGG_ boots. Her long blonde hair fell from her shoulders in a wave and Jade thought that it must be dyed.

Luckily for Jade, she didn't have to talk to her much, and due to that only called her Barbie once. She didn't mean to call her that, honestly!

Her teacher, the one that led her in, is called Miss Rodowsky. She's nice, though Jade doesn't like the way she hovers. It's a huge relief for Jade when it's finally break-time. She breathes heavily and sits down on an old swing, slowly rocking back and forth, kicking the dirt with her tiny combat boots. When she gets bored of swinging, she jumps down and grabs a stick from the grass, poking the mud around again.

She jumps when she gets patted on the shoulder. "What do you want?" She snaps at the boy, who's tanned, with short fluffy brown hair.

"I just wanted to know if you're okay."

"I'm dandy." She answers, rolling her blue eyes. Beck steps back, a preventive measure.

"I know what it's like to be new," Beck says softly, brushing he mud with his own foot. Jade drew a big letter J in the ground, her little tongue poking out of the side of her mouth in concentration. Beck dithered, wondering what to say to the little girl with the big attitude.

"You don't know me." Jade answers harshly, throwing her stick back into the grass and dusting off her skirt.

"I'm Beck," he says, trying to ignore her tone. "What's your name?" Jade rolled her eyes once again. She stepped away, heading for the main part of the playground.

"None of your business," she shoots back, but then she pauses. "Who would call their kid Beck?" Beck brightens, even if it is an insult.

"Marie and John Oliver, that's who." He says proudly. Jade looks back him with a strange glare, but there's a hint of a smile on her face.

Jade turns away to walk back to class, but out of his view, she's got the biggest smile on her face.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So here you go :) I kept getting distracted…but anyway :p Also what do you think about the lines splitting up time? Better? Annoying? Tell me in a review. :) (That's a ploy to get you to review. ;))**


	6. Chapter 6

Jade gets into school the next morning, and she lingers at the door for just a little too long waiting for a certain someone to come along. After a little while she sighed and went to class, where her little face lit up at the sight of him – her first proper friend. Not that he knew that yet, of course.

"Hi, none of your business," Beck said, smiling at her. "How are you today?" He gestured to an empty seat next to him and Jade sits.

"I'm okay," she says softly, surprised to hear him say that. She doesn't know what to say next, so she awkwardly sits on her chair, fiddling with her split ends. She glances over at him, peeking out from her hair, and sees him playing with his hands. She smiles a little. Miss starts speaking and Jade retreats to inside her head, where lands of happiness and purple skies awaited her.

Jade colours the house slowly and carefully, making sure to not go out of the lines. She's still inside her head, but concentrated enough to do something. Sometimes Jade loses herself in a flashback; a horrible, gloomy time where Jade curls up on her bed and waits for it all to end. It's usually over within half an hour. She tries to loose herself in books, but it's hard when you don't have many. She realizes she's lost once again and snaps out of it. Jade looks down. She sighs sadly at all the colours out of the lines.

"Are you okay?" Beck says. "It's only colouring, don't worry." Jade wants to snap at him, to tell him that he should mind his own business but then she remembers how nice he was yesterday.

"Why wouldn't I be fine?" She says her voice all high and wobbly. "I'm fine." Beck nods.

"Okay. I was only asking," Jade nods this time, resting her head on her hand. Miss comes over and compliments her lovely drawing. Jade looks up with a disbelieving look on her face. She points at it and folds her arms.

"But I've gone out of the lines!" She protests. "It's very _bad_." She puts her head down. Miss Rodowsky pats her back encouragingly.

"No, no," she says quickly, "your art is _very_ good Jade." Jade mumbled a quick thank you and then turned away. Beck raises his eyebrows at her.

"What?" She snaps. Beck looks at her and shakes his head.

"You may not think you're a very good artist, but you're a very good _snapper._" He says it cautiously, holding his breath for her reaction. He breathes out when she smirks.

"Yes, I _did _know that." She giggles.

It was soon break and Jade strolled out of the door, blowing air up to her fringe to get it out of her eyes. Beck looked over at her and tried the same thing, but he just fluffed up his. Jade burst out in giggles. She's never laughed this hard. It's strange, but she loves it.

**"_Tell me did you sail across the sun  
>Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded<br>And that heaven is overrated  
>Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star<br>One without a permanent scar  
>And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"<em>**

Jade sang, belting out her favourite lyrics across the whole playground. Her voice was young and high, but it was amazing even so. She skipped along, smiling and kicking up dirt. Beck smiled over at her, enjoying the music.

When it was time to go home, Jade gave a sad glance at the door and waited for Bridget to come and pick her up. Beck waited with her.

"Does you mommy pick you up?" Beck asked. Jade shakes her head. "Who does?" He smiles kindly. Jade shuffles her feet uncomfortably.

"My…babysitter," she decides on quickly. "She's new." Beck nods, hauling his bag over his back from his shoulder.

"Cool! My mom says she doesn't like to leave me with babysitters." Jade rolls her eyes.

"I wish mine didn't either," she mutters. She composes herself again. "Do you spend a lot of time with your mom?"

"No," he says slowly. "She's more into business than me." Jade nods, and the Beck asks, "You?"

"Not exactly," Jade says. "She doesn't really like me." Beck frowns.

"I don't know why." He smiles and then leaves, saying that he really has to go. She waves and waits. Soon Bridget gets here too. She rides home happily, thinking about the morning already.

* * *

><p>Cat's tired now and she's fed up of being in this strange house. She gets up and looks around, before peeking her little head round the door. When she sees that no one is around in the hall, she opens the front door. She groans when she sees Mrs Sera out there.<p>

"Cat, dear? Oh good. I was just about to come and get you," she says. "These people are the police."

"I know," Cat mumbles. She fiddles with the flower in her matted hair. "Where's my mommy?" The police lady smiles at her and tries to pick her up. Cat squeals and squirms, kicking and screaming.

"Cat! Cat, you're fine, I promise." Mrs Sera says. She goes and picks her up. Cat struggles for a moment but Mrs Sera pats her back and smooth's her hair and she feels okay. Not good, but okay. Mrs Sera hands her over and Cat rests on the lady's shoulder. She puts her arms round Cat's legs and under her butt to stop her falling. Cat froze. Her mother carried her like this. She remembers it so well.

"_Come on, Kitty Cat," her mother called softly. She scoops her up and jiggles her on her hip until she's quiet and her snuffles have died out. Then she swings Cat to her front and puts her arms round her. "Now stop that silly sniffing. You're a big brave girl and you know daddy has to go. He doesn't want to leave you darling. He can't just quit his job though. And it's very important too," Cat's mother fixed Cat's hair. "He's protecting our country. You must be very proud of daddy. He's trying to leave. He only wants to be with _you_, sweetie."_

"_Yes mommy I know. I miss him already." Cat's mother smothers her with kisses and buries her head in Cat's shoulder._

"_Yes, I do too, baby." Cat's mother sighs and squeezes Cat hard. "I love you so much. Please don't leave me," Cat didn't quite catch the last bit, but she heard the desperation in her mother's voice._

"_I love you too mommy. You won't leave like daddy?"_

"_Baby I'd never leave." Cat looks up at her, wet eyes and innocent smiles, and puts her arms round her mother's neck._

Cat shakes her head. She's in a car now, but still in the lady's lap. "I want to see mommy." This time the lady shakes her head.

"Not yet, sweetie."

"Well why not?"

"Just because."

"That's not an answer," Cat says quickly. She struggles to get off of her lap, pushing her arms into her stomach. The lady simply bats her away and sits her on her own seat, strapping her down tightly.

Cat narrows her eyes and screams. She's figured out that screaming and kicking gets her, usually, her own way. She screams until she's hoarse and she cries until she's sick. It doesn't get her anywhere this time, unless you count a trip to A&E to get sedated.

When she wakes she's still in the hospital, lying on a cold bed. She hears her mother's voice.

"Tell me where my baby is!" Cat's mother screams. Cat tries to sit up but is unable to lift her heavy head.

"Mommy," Cat cries, her voice still hoarse. She's not heard. Cat grabs the glass from the side and drops it over the side. When there's silence, she cries again. This time, her mother comes running, scooping her up.

"How dare you do this to her! Who do you think you are?" She cradles Cat, rocking her slowly.

"Mrs Valentine, I strongly recommend you put the child down, step back, and let the child be taken."

"No way. My baby is the only one I've got left. My mother hates me and my husband – a army soldier – is dead. Dead and buried. How is this justice?"

"For the child, it's her best interest."

"You said you'd never leave mommy…"

"So did you, baby," Cat's mom sobbed, clutching her red and irritated chest. She kissed Cat on the cheek and Cat cried out. "Don't worry, darling. I'll see you very, very soon."

**A/N:**

**Hopefully you liked this. It's a bit longer and a bit quicker than usual. I'll UD soon.. (:**


	7. Chapter 7

Jade is up later than usually and goes into the living room with a frown on her face. Madeline waves hello and picks her up.

"What are you doing up, little one?" She asks, propping Jade on her hip. Jade's eyebrows knit together, creating a little V shape.

"I'm up late," Jade says slowly. "You're so silly, Maddie!" Maddie smiles, a grin creeping up her face.

"It's the weekend, don't you know?" Jade tilts her head and Maddie laughs. "You get two days off every week - it's a lifesaver!"

"But I want to go to school," Jade protests. Maddie shakes her head, putting Jade on the floor. She smiles at Jade.

"I'm afraid you can't," she says, "but if you really want, I'll take you to one of your friend's houses, if you ask one of them first." Jade blushes and brushes her hair out of her eyes, looking up slowly.

"I would," Jade sighs, "the thing is, I don't really know where he lives. Anyway, I don't think he'd like to play."

So they spent the morning together. They had great fun, splashing in the pool till they were worn out, and watching Valentina laugh at the bubbles they blew. Their whole morning shone with laugher and happiness until that knock on the door – the moment the laughter was broken in two, the moment when Valentina started to scream, the moment Maddie was never the same.

"I'll get it," Maddie said, getting up. "Make sure not to blow the bubbles in the baby's face, okay?" Jade nodded, watched Maddie walk out and smiling at Valentina she blew another bubble. Maddie came out with a shocked face, her hair over her eyes, and wordlessly picked up Valentina.

"Please don't do this," Maddie says, clutching her close. "I love her so much, it hurts." The lady who trailed in behind Maddie shakes her head and sighs.

"I'm sorry, I really am, but I need the baby. Hand her over," the lady reached her arms out. "There's a good girl." Jade wasn't sure who she was talking to. Shakily, Jade stood, and pulled on the hem of Maddie's cardigan.

"Who's she?" Jade whispers. Maddie lifts Jade and swings her on her hip. She wraps her remaining arm round herself, and digs her nails into her sides.

"She's a lady who's come to take away Valentina, and ruin my life," Maddie says bitterly. "Haven't you?"

The lady presses her lips together. "No, I'm not. Take no notice of her. You listen to me, okay?" Jade shrinks back from her, and her finger pointing at the both of them.

"But I don't know you," Jade says. "Mommy says no strangers." She pauses. "Well, mommy doesn't, but that's what they say mom's say, isn't it?" Valentina laughs in spite of everything, but it's a false, forced laugh.

"Say goodbye, Jade." Maddie says. "Please." There's desperation in her voice, and Jade leans over and kisses Valentina's soft cheek.

"Goodbye, Valentina."

Cat's eyes are so heavy. Just five more minutes, please? She's drifting in and out of consciousness, her eyes snapping open whenever she wakes up. She feels so drowsy, colours swirling in her head, movements in her mind. She squeezes her eyes and sits up.

"Mom?" she asks, reaching up to brush hair out of her eyes. She tugs at her arm but nothing is happening. "Daddy, my arm is stuck! Mommy, I mean!" She kicks her legs but they're stuck too. Cat sobs in the darkness, and starts to retch. She feels so sick, and suddenly she's thrown up on her bed. That makes her cry even harder. She calls out for someone – anyone. A nurse comes in and puts her hand to her chest, flicking the light on. Cat looks down and sees she's strapped down to the bed. Her lower lip trembles.

"Please," she says shakily. "Please don't shout at me." The nurse walks over slowly, as not to frighten Cat.

"Let's get these undone," the nurse says, unravelling the ties around her arms and legs. She picks Cat out of the bed. "Okay. Stay there?" Cat nods, promising to stay and the nurse turns to get sheets. Cat thinks about running, but decides not to. This nurse is the only nice person she's met today, after all. She wriggles about, stretching her arms and legs.

"Why don't you like me here?" Cat asks. The nurse turns round, her brow creasing.

"No one doesn't like you," she says. "I don't know why they bound you to the bed."

"Me either," Cat says. "I only remember mom and then black."

"Mom?" the nurse asks. "Why was your mom here?" Cat looks up. She sighs.

"She loves me, that's why. She wants to take me home." The nurse's face is full of sympathy.

"I know, darling. She can't, though. I'm sorry." She looked down at Cat and looked genuinely sad.

"I'm sick of sorry. Sorry means I won't do it again – but no one seems to ever put things right." She tilts her head. "Though maybe I'm getting it wrong, maybe sorry means 'oh well, I mean I have sympathy but I'm not _that_ bothered.'" The nurse's eyes fill with tears.

"Oh dear," she says. "Not everything in life is sad. Not everything comes with sorry tagged along, you know?"

"Not really," Cat admits. "Mommy came home every night and said sorry when daddy left. Daddy said sorry when he left."

"Sweetie, I don't know what you think of me, but I promise you won't hear any more half-hearted sorrys." Cat shakes her head, and shuffles her bare feet on the white floor. The noise set her teeth on edge.

"You can promise all you like – mom did. It won't make any difference." Promise was a hard word for Cat to say. It left a little lisp. Cat looked up at the nurse. She played with her hands, waiting for approval. When the nurse said nothing, Cat swallowed her pride. "Sorry."

The word left a bad taste in her mouth.

**A/N:**

**So here it is. It took a long time, sorry. It was my birthday on Monday, and then it was school that got in the way, and on Friday and Saturday I was working on it, but kept getting distracted.**

**Did you see the new episode? They ruined the end! It was cute though, Bade, Tandre and Cabbie. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Cat took the lady's hand and walked over to the front desk. "This is Caterina Valentine. I want to know why she's here, please." The man at the desk nodded.

"She was hysterical and needed to be sedated and restrained." He looked down at Cat. "How is she now?"

"Does it look like she needed restraining? She's a little girl!" The nurse holding Cat's hand tutted, "I really don't see how she – still just a baby – needed a sedative."

"Well, the social workers did." The nurse pressed her lips together.

"Well, obviously. Please tell her social workers that I'll be in the psychiatrist's office. Come on, darling." Cat sniffed and continued on, wondering where she was going.

"What's a physic- something or other?"

"It's a person who talks to you," the nurse says. Cat looks up at her.

"I don't really want to talk to anyone right now." The nurse smiles, and grips Cat's hand tighter, squeezing it to reassure her.

"It's fine. You'll just colour or something then."

"Oh." Cat says. She doesn't really like colouring but she decides not to say anything anyway. She just walks with the nurse and seals her lips. When they reach the room, it's colourful and full of animals and pirates and princesses. Cat frowns.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Cat shakes her head.

"Nothing," she says calmly. She doesn't like how the room is so familiar. "Who is that?" she points at a man in a blue suit.

"That's the man who will talk to you." Cat scrunches up her forehead.

"But I told you I don't want to talk!" The nurse hushes Cat.

"I know. You don't have to do anything you don't want, okay?" Cat nods solemnly. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." Cat is lead into the room, where the lady lets go out her hand and leaves. "Um, hello?" Cat calls. The man in the suit turns round.

"Hello, Caterina, how are you?" Cat stands still.

"My name's Cat now." The doctor nods.

"Hello, Cat." Cat nods this time.

"Hello." The doctor beckons her over with one finger. Cat stands still again. She shakes her head. "I want to stay here."

"I can't talk to you over there, silly." Cat remembers again.

"_How am I meant to throw the ball over the trampoline net? Jump off, silly!" Her mother grinned, spinning Cat around and around until she was dizzy. _

"_Mama, mama, I wanna go in a swim pool!" Cat's mother giggled and tried to hide her smile._

"_A swimming pool, darling," Cat giggles._

"_Yes mama!" She splashes about in it for ages, and her mom watching at the side. "Mama, I hear the phone."_

"_Okay darling," she picks up Cat, because not for a second would she leave her, and goes inside. She hands Cat a towel. "I think that's enough splashing now, huh?" Cat nods happily, going to retrieve her crayons. She hears a deafening scream and stops in her tracks._

"_Mama, you okay? Mommy?" She then hears a thud. She runs to the kitchen where the phone is where she hears sobbing._

"_Cat, go away."_

"_Mama?" _

"_**No.**__ I love you, darling, I just need some time." Cat hovers by the door._

"_Who was on the phone?"_

"_No one." Cat's mother composed herself. "I have some news." Cat looked up. She held her mom's hand and her face lit up._

"_Is daddy coming home?" she beamed up at her and grinned. "I can't wait!" Her mother swallowed noisily._

"_No, darling, he's not. I'm afraid daddy's gone to sleep."_

"_I always push him that wakes him up."_

"_No, darling, that isn't working this time. I'm so sorry," Cat frowns. _

"_Why are you sorry?"_

"_I just am." _

_Cat's mother was never the same after that day. _

Jade wakes up that morning and there's an eerie silence. "Maddie?" she calls out. She sees her in the living room, crying her eyes out. Jade's face droops. "Please don't cry."

"Oh Jade, you won't understand. Please go away."

"Oh…okay." Jade heads back to bed, struggling to hold back tears. Her heart leaps when she hears Maddie call her name. "Yes, Maddie?"

"Come here," she calls. Jade runs to her. "Turn off my light please; it's giving me a splitting headache."

Jade slams the door shut, leaving the light on. She's so hurt. She runs out of the house, stunned that no one is stopping her. She realizes it's still very dark. Jade decides that she likes the dark. She also decides that she hates the weekends, and people, and babies, and ducks, man she hates ducks.

"Hello, little lady, and where do you think you're going?" Jade sighs and sees Gina, the head social worker.

"Nowhere," she mumbles. Gina nods and turns her around.

"What are you even doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"I see that," Gina says. "Never mind. I'll make you hot chocolate and then you can get back to bed." Jade thinks about things, walking back. She's never really been anywhere that treats her so well. As she walks in the door she hugs Gina. Gina smiles down at her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," Gina says as if she knows what Jade means. Jade wonders if she really does.

**A/N:**

**Sorry that this was a bit messy and all over the place. I can't think straight. Did you hear about the shooting? That was terrible…poor kids. **

**Did you see the new episode? It was funny. If you'd like to know what Maddie looks like, type in Maddie Duggan. She was on Eastenders…if you know what that is. She wasn't named after her, it was coincidence. Anyway…hope you enjoyed it.**

**~ Caitlin**


	9. Chapter 9

"I want to see my daddy!" Cat screams. Her eyes snap open. The psychiatrist stood in front her of. She knows if she says one more thing she will burst into tears. "Please?" Her eyelashes stick together and the lady who brought her in comes rushing towards her.

"Okay, honey, we'll get you home." Cat's face crumples more. The lady envelopes her in a hug and squeezes her tight. "Okay, okay, calm down."

"My name isn't honey!" Cat wails. She bites her lip and rubs her tired eyes. Cat's eyes start to close.

"Oh my, my, my!" The lady fishes in her purse. "Here's my card. I'm Lisa. If you think Cat needs anything… please, call." Lisa notices that Cat is swaying. "Probably the sedative again; I'll get her to bed now."

She picks up Cat and takes her to her room bridal style. "It's okay, sweetie," Lisa says as Cat stirs. "Go to sleep." Cat nods sleepily and turns. Lisa watches as Cat's breaths get lower and deeper. Her eyes fluttered and she dozed off. Lisa pats her gently then gets up.

"Don't go," Cat muffles. Lisa smooth's her hair down. Cat nestles down again, her little snores the only sound in the room.

"I'll be back soon, honey," Lisa whispers. Cat shakes her head under Lisa's hand.

"No honey…" Cat whispers. Lisa stifles a laugh as she leaves. She heads to the front desk. She gets there and requests Cat's records. They are handed over and Lisa combs through them. "Oh my," Lisa says. It's basically her catch phrase today. Lisa's problems are put into perspective pretty quickly. Did she really care that her rug wasn't snowy white after four years, or that Mr Snuffles her miniature schnauzer was shedding too much hair? Not really. She was happy to have little paws clawing at her as she got in from work.

*Later*

"Mrs Valentine?" There was uncertainty on the end of the line.

"Speaking,"

"I…I have something to ask, if you wouldn't mind." There was an irritable sigh.

"I don't want to be bothered anymore. I just want my baby back."

"That's the thing, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You see, Cat's been talking about her daddy."

"Oh."

"Yes, I know about that. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Yes, thank you. Now Cat?"

"She wants you, too…She thinks she's been abandoned. You see, I went to see her and such, and spoke to her. I put her to bed a little while ago because she was tired but I'll speak to her in a bit about that. You see, I wanted to know why she was removed from you."

"I see." There was a long, deafening silence. "My husband, Cat's daddy, Chris, died a while ago." Shaky breaths now. "I didn't cope well. I was a terrible mother. Cat thought I hated her. She asked me," Cat's mother shook out in sobs. "And I told her _yes._"

"Oh, Mrs Valentine!" Tears slipped out of Lisa's eyes.

"I know. I hate myself too."

"I don't hate you."

"Why did you even call, Miss-?"

"Miss Moto, but you can call me Lisa."

"Well, Miss Moto?"

"I wanted to set up visiting rights for you, if you were interested."

"Interested? I miss my baby every day."

"I'll take that as a yes!"

Lisa returned to the hospital later that night just for Cat. She tickled the back of Cat's neck to stir her awake. "Come on, tickly, wake up."

"Mama?"

"Not quite, hon," Lisa smiled. Cat turned and smiled back.

"Hello Lisa," Cat stretches.

"Tired?" Cat nods and laughs. She hoped that Lisa would never ever leave her.

Jade wakes up and the sun is just rising. The baby in the crib next to her is gurgling. Jade hops out of bed and climbs on the edge of the crib. "Hello, Ace." Ace is much bigger from the first time she saw him. She remembers him screaming and the man coming into her room. She shakes her head and talks to Ace. "Did you sleep well?" Ace, now almost 13 months, babbles back to her.

"Uh huh!" Jade smiles back at him, somewhat glad that he's totally oblivious to her pain. He grins and gurgles for Jade's attention and she's more than happy to give it to him. She helps him up and her eyebrows crease when she sees the scene in the living room.

"Look, Jade!" Maddie whispers. Jade's face breaks out in a smile as she helps Ace toddle towards Maddie and Valentina. She gasps.

"Valley!?" Maddie hugs her tightly.

"Yes, Val's back!"

Jade smiles, but is a bit sad. "Why weren't you my friend when Valley wasn't here?"

"I was sad," Maddie says slowly. "I'm happy now."

"My mommy said that. She was sad when daddy left though I don't know him. Mommy was sad when Steve left. Mama wasn't that sad when Bruno left. She said "good riddance!" I was glad too."

"I'm so sorry, my little Jadey. We'll always be friends. Pinky swear?" Jade clinked fingers with her. An eyelash fell from Jade's eye. She rubbed it off.

"I wish that Maddie and I are friends for ever." Jade says under her breath. She really really hopes that this one wish will come true.

"I love you, Ace. I love you Maddie. I love you Valley."

"I love you very much, Jadey." Jade smiles though she doesn't believe it much. Jade thinks of the song "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" just then.

She doesn't clap.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I think the best thing for this story is that I write a few more chapters and then skip it to now. What do ya think? Tell me in your review. Also tell me if you think I should continue it in a different story (like a sequel) but it won't be like Oh Daddy Dearest as this will actually happen soon. I'll work on the sequel to Oh Daddy Dearest probably in the summer. I have a break for Easter soon anyway, so hopefully I'll be able to finish everything up. Destined For Disaster will be almost finished soon. I do like writing it though, so maybe not :) **

**P.S I'm sorry that my A/N is so long. I had a lot of info! :P **

"Mama?" Cat asks into the darkness. Her hand is squeezed gently by Lisa, Cat presumes. "Lisa?"

"Yes, darling, but stay quiet now. I'm going to talk to you in a minute, once we get to my office." She lifts Cat up and carries her on her hip. She strokes her hair. "It's okay, hon- Cat." Cat buries her head in Lisa's shoulder. "Don't fall asleep now. Don't you want to speak to mama?" Cat nods. Lisa doesn't think she's taken it in yet. She lays Cat on her couch, pulling a blanket over her.

"Already late?" Cat mumbles. Lisa laughs.

"No, my sweet, it's morning now. Ten in the morning!" Cat shakes herself awake. "Good girl," Lisa smiles.

"Where's my mama?" Lisa pulls the blanket up a bit, smoothing it down, and then looks at Cat seriously.

"Your mom isn't here right now, but there's a telephone we can use. Have you used a telephone?"

Cat nods. "Yes, mommy's cell phone, when I talked to daddy. And I saw mommy talking to someone on the last day." Lisa looks up from her phone book.

"The last day?" Cat grimaces. She plays with her hands and then breathes in.

"Yes," Cat says "when mommy told me to go away. And when the man on the phone told me to look after mommy now, and when I asked why. He told me that mommy would tell me later. She didn't, just that daddy wasn't here anymore. She said he was in Haven. Mommy never took me there." Lisa's brow rose.

"I don't think she said Haven, darling, I think she meant Heaven."

"Oh yes, Heaven. Well I don't know why daddy was there, he doesn't like Canada." Lisa would've laughed if it wasn't so sad.

"It's not in Canada, Cat. Why do you think that?"

"Well mommy pointed to the sky."

"The sky is where Heaven is, not Canada."

"I see." There was a pause. "I miss my daddy. One day maybe he'll come back. I wish I was a good girl."

"Cat, you are the best behaved girl I've ever come across. You are _such_ a good girl!" Cat smiles sadly.

"Can I talk to mama now?" Lisa nods.

"Of course you can, sweetie." Lisa dials the number and listens as there is a voice on the other end.

"Is that you, Mrs Moto? I've been waiting for your call." Lisa can almost see the smile through the phone.

"Yes. I'll hand you to Cat in a sec, but first I have to say some things. Of course she is your daughter but I may end the call if the topic is not suitable, and please watch your language. Thanks."

"Of course," The phone was put on loudspeaker. "Cat, my darling?"

"Yes, mama, I'm here!"

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so glad you are okay. I was so worried!"

"Are you okay, mom?" Cat's mother drew in a breath. "I'm sorry mommy."

"I'm fine, sweet, I'm fine. What have you been doing?"

"I…I don't remember, mommy."

"What do you mean, you don't remember?"

"It'll be the sedative, it confused her." Lisa added.

"I see," Cat's mother says. "Well, baby, I hope you have a good time wherever you are. Kisses, darling." Cat kisses the air and smiles. "I have to go now."

"Mama?"

"Goodbye, sweetheart."

"Bye bye, mommy."

Jade wakes up and it's Monday. She smiles at Gina. "Hi, sweetie, it's time for school." Jade grins. She can't wait to see Beck again. "Good girl. I've put some clothes out for you." Jade nods. "Don't worry, they're not pink. Blue. Leggings are black. Quick, come on." Jade groans but gets up. She changes quickly and brushes her teeth, shoving on her boots. She has ten more minutes. There is a timer for her. She brushes her hair and then scuffs the carpet with her shoes. "Jade! Stop that now!" Jade sulks until it's time to get into the bus.

She's handed her lunch and a muffin for the bus and then gets on, waving goodbye. She strolls into class, finishing off her muffin and wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her jumper. She looks around for Beck and scowls when she sees him, half asleep talking to Tommy. "Beck!" She calls. He smiles sleepily at her. Jade walks over, face like thunder and he gives a look that makes her look crazy. Tommy grins at her awkwardly.

"No!" Jade glares – Tommy has a habit of staring at Jade for long periods of time. "Beck!" She whines. He shrugs, and Tommy walks away.

"What?" Beck asks. He bites into an apple and Jade raises her eyebrows. "What!"

"Tommy is creepy."

"Why?" Another bite of the apple.

"He stares at me. You saw it too."

"Well, yes, but he's not like, a creep."

"He so is!"

"Just for staring?"

"Yes.

"I've stared at you; maybe he thinks you're pretty." Jade felt the heat rush to her cheeks, her face turning a cute Barbie pink and she smiles; Beck grins too.

"I hardly think so." Jade says cryptically. She gives him a wry smile, and then bursts out laughing. Beck blushes this time. He shyly looks up at her.

"I think you're pretty." Jade raises her eyebrows. She looks down.

"I think you're pretty too," she quips. She looks serious now. "Thanks for saying that." He smiles.

"No problem." They stand there awkwardly, rocking on their heels.

"You wanna see something cool?" Jade asks with a sly smile. Beck nods. She fetches in her bag a bottle top. She shows it to him and the brings back her thumb with nothing in it, and then the cap is back again. They laugh.

"No more horseplay!" Miss shouts. "Time to learn. Get with a partner. We're doing something slightly different today." Beck slips his hand into Jade's. She tightens the grip.

**AN: so there it is. **

**I watched this film the other day. Painful Secrets. PM me if you saw it! :)**

**I'm also obsessed with Dr Spencer Reid/ Matthew Gray Gubler. So yeah. If you also love them, also PM me! :P **


	11. Chapter 11

"I want my mama!" Cat screams. She stomps her foot on the hard floor and screams even louder. "_Mama!"_

"There's no point in getting yourself worked up, dearie," a nurse says, bustling past. "She'll most likely be here soon."

"She won't, my mommy hasn't seen me in months!" Cat wails bitterly. She glares. The nurse looks shocked.

"Well! If looks could kill!"

Cat sits down and waits for Lisa. She'll be along the children's ward soon to take Cat home. Cat doesn't really know where home is. Lisa comes in with a smile beating the Cheshire Cat's. "Cat, there's good news! A lovely couple are going to foster you."

"Why?"

"Because they're very nice and would like to take care of you!" Cat nods.

"Okay." There's a long journey until they reach the big country house with yards and yards of land, with horses and little ducks wandering about. The car stops and Cat makes no attempt to get out.

"Come on, Cat, we have to meet your foster parents."

"No we don't," Cat says warily. She moves over. "We can go home right now."

"Well, we aren't, so get out of the car."

"No." Cat says defiantly. She digs her heels in.

"Why not?" Lisa asks. She sees Cat eying the ducks. "They won't hurt you! I'll carry you in case though, if you'd like." Cat nods. Cat jumps as she hears a voice behind her.

"You're a bit old to be carried. Put her down, Lisa!" Cat grabs onto Lisa for dear life.

"Come on Cat; do as Mrs Williams tells you."

"No!" Cat screams.

"Young lady, you will do as you are told! Walk right this second."

"You see, Mrs Williams, she's scared of the ducks."

"Nonsense, she must have fed the ducks before."

"Ducks are dirty!" Cat thrashes about. "Mama wouldn't let me."

"Well, I'm your mama now and you will do as I say. Now down!" Mrs Williams pulls her off. Cat kicks her in the shins. She's forced to be put down and her hand is grabbed roughly. "Thank you, Ms Moto. You may leave now."

Lisa hands Mrs Williams Cat's case and then drives away, leaving Cat stranded. She looks up at Mrs Williams. "You will call me mummy," she says in her broad British accent, "and you will have a little sister now, too. Her name is Marie." Like the posh cat in the Aristocats, Cat thinks. "You will do as she says as well. She is three."

Cat mumbles a response and is shown her room. "You may spend time here doing hobbies, etcetera, but breakfast, lunch, dinner, and talk time in the evening is with the family."

"Mommy?" Cat asks. Mrs Williams turns. She bends down to Cat's height.

"Yes, dearie?"

"What about mommy?" Cat asks, struggling to pull out her ponytail. Her brunette hair cascades down her shoulders.

"I'm right here, Cat, no need to worry."

"No, Mrs Williams-"

"Mummy," she corrected "it's mummy now."

"What about my mama?" Cat whispers. She asks if she can use the bathroom. Mrs Williams nods and Cat is shown the way. She squirts some of the coconut soap on her hands and rubs them together, creating a foamy monster in the sink. She turns the faucet on and rinses, and then starts to cry. Afterwards she washes her face and dries it on the soft towel. Apparently it's time to meet Marie now.

"Say hello, Cat, this is my daughter, Marie."

"Hi," Cat mumbles. She waves. "I like your hair." Cat says, eyeing the scraggly pigtail. She's just trying to make conversation.

"Okay, good girl. It's time to go over some ground rules, okay?" Cat nods even though she feels sick and smiles weakly.

Jade yawns again and is getting bored of Miss talking. The project is to make the person feel good about themselves so they have to write all the good things about that person on a scrap of paper, and then will tie them to balloons once they've been read.

Jade is so scared. Even with Beck, she finds it hard to believe he'll find anything nice about her. She's terrified of more rejection.

"**I'm a lightweight better be careful what you say **

**with every word I'm blown away.**

**You're in control of my heart"**

The last bit of information makes Jade panic. "Then, we'll be talking about ourselves for a bit." She doesn't want to talk. She doesn't even know what to say.

She looks at Beck as he writes, a triangle of pink tongue sticking out. She writes her first word.

**Smart  
>kind<br>funny  
>slightly weird<br>handsome  
>compliment-y<br>interesting  
>my friend <strong>

Beck is taking longer to write his list and Jade gets anxious. He finishes in the nick of time and they swapped. Jade skims over the list. She feels her cheeks flush and she stifles a smile. Beck grins at her.

**Pretty  
>smart<br>different  
>headstrong<br>funny  
>vampire-like<br>just a bit girly  
>responsible<strong>

"So," Beck starts. "I'm a good person cause I'm your friend?"

"Well that does make you pretty awesome!" Jade beams. Beck smiles and goes to get the balloons for them. Jade slips her note into her pocket. She tears another piece and places that in the balloon. Beck smiles at her and hands her the balloon. "Do we have to blow them up ourselves?"

"No, Miss said that she'd put some heli-something in the balloon."

"Okay," Jade says slowly. She can't wait to get home and read the note over and over again.

**A/N:**

**Anyone else got Monday Blues? :( Haha. Thanks for reading. Only 8 days till my two week holiday :D **


	12. Chapter 12

"You will go to school, obviously," Mrs Williams says. "It's called Lady Mountridge's," she continues. Cat nods.

"Okay."

"It's nine to three," Mrs Williams bellows. "So you will get the bus home."

"Okay."

"Good girl," praises Mrs Williams, as she takes Cat's hand. She's lead to the breakfast table and given some cereal – Crocodile Crunchies. She hates it, but forces it down anyway.

"Can I see mommy?" Cat says, stirring the left over milk in the bowl.

"No."

"Can…can I see daddy?" Cat asks, looking up.

"Don't be silly, Caterina, you know he's passed."

"It's his birthday on Monday." Cat says quietly.

"Really?" Mrs Williams says, not paying much attention.

"Mommy will be upset."

"I'm mummy now."

"Okay." Mrs Williams leaves the table to collect the mail. She sets a pink envelope in front of Cat. "Can I open it?"

"Yes, dear." Cat tears it open. She can read a lot of words, so she's happy Mrs Williams won't see.

_To my darling Cat,_

_I love you and miss you. I know you're missing me, too. I'll put flowers out for daddy. I hope it's nice where you are. I miss you. Everything about you. I miss your little heartbeat. I miss the way your eyelids flutter when you sleep._

_I don't know how to be something you will miss, but just remember mommy loves you. _

_Goodnight, baby doll. _

_Mommy xo_

Cat blinks tears back and puts the letter closer to her heart. "I miss you." Cat says quietly. "I really miss you."

Marie trails down the stairs later. "Mummy!" Marie screams. "My chair my chair mummy!"

"Shh, Marie." Mrs Williams says. "Use words."

"Mummy she's…in my chair!"

"Yes, dear. Okay. Ask her."

"GET OFF!" Marie shouts. Cat slinks off to her bedroom, trying to ignore the brat screaming after her.

Cat puts the letter inside her picture book; sure no one would steal it there, and then curls up in her bed, buried under her Hannah Montana cover. She snuggles deep, and then closes her heavy eyes.

She doesn't wake until dinner.

"Now now, Cat, you be a good girl and eat it all up, nicely. There's a good girl." Mrs Williams tries, smoothing Cat's hair. Cat knows she's trying, but she can't bring herself to be grateful. Instead she sits at the dining table with a heavy heart, sinking her mood right down.

"Come on, love," Mrs Williams says gently, miles away from her character yesterday. "Eat something."

Cat shakes her head, and once again curls up on her bed.

This time she's woken in the morning for breakfast, which of course, was left untouched. She's nervous and feels sick. It's already her first day of school.

"Now class," miss says, "we're doing a fact file on ourselves today. All you have to do is write your name, age, birthday, etcetera. Get writing."

Jade puts her pencil on her paper.

Name: Jadelyn August West  
>Age: 7<br>D.O.B August 20th  
>Mommy: Savannah<br>Daddy: Edward  
>Brothers or sisters? No<br>Jade sits back and puts her pencil down. She glances over at Beck, who is looking down worriedly at his paper.

"What?" Jade asks, looking concerned. She turns his sheet so she can read it. "Just fill in the blanks," she says her brow furrowing.

"I don't want to," Beck says quietly, looking down at his scuffed school shoes.

"Why not?" Jade says, more gently.

"I was going to have a baby sister last year."

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know," Beck says simply. "Mom said she _lost_ her. But how can you lose a baby? She was inside mom's tummy."

"What did she say? Was she sad?"

"I guess."

"You guess? Was she crying?"

"I don't think mom cries."

"Everyone cries! And if she lost the baby, she'd be feeling annoyed,"

"I guess her face was a little teary. She hugged me tight and kissed my head a lot."

"I think she was sad," Jade says, raising her eyebrows. "I wonder where the baby went."

"Me too. I might ask her,"

"Hmm."

"Can you come round to my house today?"

"I don't know," Jade says, biting her lip. "I'll have to ask."

"Okay, ask afterschool."

"I will." Jade promises. And she does. Gina, the head careworker says yes, and drives her over.

"What time am I picking her up?"

"About 7?"

"Great, see you then."

Jade and Beck sit in front of his mother, and watch her. She chuckles. "What do you want, sweetiepops?"

"Mommy, you know Honor?" Mrs Oliver stiffens.

"Yes, dear?"

"Where is she?"

"You know where she is, baby, I lost her." She paused. "Sorry, darling. Honor is the baby I lost, Jade."

"How did you lose a baby?"

"Sometimes, things just don't work out."

"But isn't a baby really noisy?"

"Well yes," Mrs Olivier stops. "Oh, wait. Losing a baby isn't misplacing it like you would a book, or missing shoe, you silly pair."

"What happens then, mommy?"

"The baby died," she says gently. "She wasn't very well."

"Is she okay now?"

"Yes, darling. She'll be in heaven, playing with Fluffy." Beck smiles at this, and then leads Jade up to his room.

"What do you wanna do?"

"Let's ask your mom if we can bake cookies."

"Yeah, my mom is always baking!" Beck grins. They run downstairs to find Beck's mom getting the cookbook out.

"I thought you might like to make something?" She says, with a glint in her eye. She smiles at them both. "Grab a stool."

They do, and then grin at each other again. They're both discovering new things, and they're so excited.

Jade smiles and laughs, "I've never baked before, Mrs Oliver but I bet you make it fun!"

"Yes, I hope, Jade." She smiles. "Aren't you a sweetheart?"

Jade lights up. She finally, at long last feels like she belongs.

**A/N:**

**I haven't updated in awhile. Sorry about that. I'd say I'm busy, but that would be a blatant lie. So, sorry again. **

**But obviously you understand I can't spend all day at a screen – mainly because I've been getting a lot of headaches recently, but also other commitments. **

**Anyway, enough of my personal life, and more onto the end of this A/N. End. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**

**Hiya, guys. As you probably know, this isn't really going anywhere. I loved writing it when I started, and I feel like I'm leaving a piece of me behind when I say that, after Destined For Disaster, I'm done. I'm not going to finish this story. I may keep it up, but most likely not. My heart is beating like crazy at the moment, haha. **

**I hate disappointing you all like this but I feel, for Victorious, I've just got a continual writer's block. Everything's been done to death on this. It's kind of like the end of a big part of my life - the most part off three years - is ending and I'm sad but y'know. All good things (I made a lot of friends on here) have to end. **

**I say this like I'm dying. Of course, if I get ideas, I'll put them up! I'll write for Sam & Cat most probably. I'd still love to talk, and if you would, PM me. **

**I'd like to move on with these. I'll still be writing - Twilight is the big thing for me momentarily. But, thanks for reading. **

**~ Caitlin**


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